The Tutor: "Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence Geldof is almost dead! First her Aussie pa orfs himself* with a bit of snake-skin on November 22, 1997, just after she was born. Her mam then goes and orfs herself* with an opiate on September 17, 2000, when she was four. And then, her fruity step-sister orfs herself* with sommat on April 6, 2014, when she was 17. I'm thinking there might be a genetic predisposition for this sort of behaviour amongst these folks. Nature of course, certainly not nurture! Yes?"
Me: "I'm fucking thinking you should learn to speak fucking English you creepy old man. The present continuous tense should only be used to describe continuous actions which are taking place at that very moment, and should only be used with continuous verbs. Non-continuous verbs should never be used with the present continuous tense; one should use the simple present.
You with your 'I'm thinking there might be...' and Ronald with his 'I'm loving it' can all be fucking off."
The Tutor: "You're just jealous your parents didn't name you Fifi Trixibelle."
Me: "I'm thinking Astala Dylan Willow Phaedra Bloom Forever is exotic enough."
* According to some folks, they weren't suicides, but a result of "foolish and incautious" behaviour.
Fair enough.
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