Greenpeace sucks at Foreign Currency speculation.
I sent the following email to them:
Dear Greenpeace Folks,
I was sorry to hear of your recent losses as a consequence of ill-advised Fiscal 2013 Euro exchange contracts. Perhaps this rogue staff member in your International Finance unit at Amsterdam HQ was just a little too "ecological" and not enough "capitalist" in her/his approach?
In the future, may I suggest that y'all concentrate on your strengths, like saving the Earth and its denizens, and leave the financial stuff to those of us showing excessive talent in raping it and them? And by 'it' and 'them', I mean the Earth and its denizens.
If you insist on playing with the filthy capitalist pigs, may I suggest investing in Pipelines and Big Oil? You can't go wrong! Or even in the newly robust Canadian baby Harp seal collection businesses - they's goin' gangbusters of late - you know with very inexpensive Made-In-China BabySeal truncheons available at every corner convenience store now.
Yins are sure to recoup your current losses in no time at all. Here's an insider tip for you, Faroe Islands Cetacean Rendering Inc. is about to list on the NASDAQ in this year's most anticipated IPO.
Under the ever-so-cute sticker symbol, "MOBY", this FICR Inc. - pronounced "fish-cry" or "fuckery" - is sure to return 50 to 100 percent after its first day of trading alone. Guaranteed! Successful Finance and attendant profit is an ugly business.
Why fight 'em when you can easily join 'em?
Pudenda Non Grata
No response so far and no sense of humour either it would seem.