Caesar and CERN

What is all this shite about Higgs Bosons and God Particles and assorted particulate crap coming out of that Large Hadrian Collider they have at CERN.
I just don't get it; large collider?  I've seen many statues of the deified Antinoös and in nary a one is the future inspiration for Michaelangelo's David represented as having been even remotely well endowed in the collider department.
I just don't get it.


WTF?
Gibberish. Right?
Wrong!

If you know what CERN is
and
If you know what the LHC is
and
If you know who Hadrian is
and
If you know who Antinoös is
and
If you know what a double entendre is
and
If you know what a near-homophonic pun is.....


This post will be understood.  Perhaps even considered clever, but admittedly, probably not perceived as actually funny.  Nevertheless, if by publishing it I was able to bring just a little mirth into someone's day, and as a result, one fewer puppy was kicked, I will have succeeded.

Eloise and Abelard
Juliet and Romeo
Delilah and Samson
Lakshmi and Vishnu
Banu and Jahan
Bennet and Darcy

Great lovers of times past.  Why is it that we never see Hadrian and Antinoös or Gertrude and Alice in these lists?  Speaking of the 'rose is a rose is a rose' lady, people bitch about the fact that the epitaph of Alice B. Toklas is inscribed on the back of Gertrude Stein's memorial plinth.  They maintain it is derisive and demeaning.  I don't think it is at all.
It's rather apropos, actually.  Alice is behind Gertrude in death for eternity - just as she was in life.  In life, of course, she brandished a strap-on when in that posterior position.  So why not in death?  Then again, who knows what delicious evil lurks under the carefully manicured lawns of Père Lachaise Cemetery?
Innit?